LPPTV Episode 17 - Why Do Women Ignore Me? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

Why Do Women Ignore Me?

LPPTV Episode 17 - Why Do Women Ignore Me? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionIn the last episode of LPPTV we looked at a question which I hear from a lot of women.  This week I wanted to do an episode which speaks specifically to men.

While the issue that I talk about today affects both men and women, this question was sent into me from a man who wanted some help.

There’s nothing worse than feeling invisible or ignored.

Unless it’s by someone who you’re attracted to.

If you’re a man who is looking to date and connect with a woman, feeling like she doesn’t even know or care that you’re there can be at best uncomfortable and at worst crushing.

The worst thing about this kind of situation is that most of the time we don’t know why.

Is it about them?

Is it about us?

What can we do to change it?

So when I got this question through I am not successful and I don’t have my life together. so women always ignore me. I am 28 years old and I have no career I am stuck I need your help.” I had to do an episode of LPPTV to respond.

What do you do when it feels like women are ignoring you?  Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… When You Feel Good About You You Become Naturally Attractive To Others @LovePPassion

…and if after watching the video you would like to find out more about coaching and mentoring with me, then click here for more information

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever felt ignored by members of the opposite sex? How did it feel? Have you found that when you feel good about yourself that you are more attractive to people around you? Have you felt stuck in life and found that it was showing up in your relationships and dating life too? Do you agree with what I’ve shared in the video? Has this been your experience of relationships? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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The Big Virtual Detox With Rachel Swann - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

What’s The One Tip That Can Transform Any Type Of Relationship?

The Big Virtual Detox With Rachel Swann - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionThis is the time when normally I would be sharing my weekly LPPTV episode, but this week I want to share something a little bit different.

You see this week I was asked by the lovely Rachel Swann to join her on her Big Virtual Detox to share some advice for everyone on relationships.

I do these kinds of interviews, webinars and tele seminars on a regular basis, but when Rachel asked me what was the one piece of advice I could give that could help someone to improve any relationship, I had to share the answer I gave with you.

So what’s the one tip that can transform any type of relationship?  Watch the video now to find out:

…and if you’d like to catch the rest of the interviews in the Big Virtual Detox, click here now to check them out.

Now I’d love to hear from you.

What’s the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever heard? What’s the one thing that you’d really like to get some help with? What’s the one thing that’s transformed a relationship situation for you? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 16 - How Do I Keep Him? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

How Do I Keep Him?

LPPTV Episode 16 - How Do I Keep Him? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionI don’t know any woman who hasn’t had this thought at some point in her life.

You’re dating a man that you think is amazing.

He has all of the qualities that you’re looking for in your ideal partner.

You feel happy around him.

You believe this could be ‘The One’.

The only thing that is worrying you is, how can I make sure that he stays?

What can I do to keep him in my life?

How can I ensure that he continues to want me?

You don’t want to lose him, so what can you do?

So I was really pleased when I got this question through from Anna “Hi Claire, I’m always quite reserved with compliments, but I must say your work is always greatly appreciated, you’re doing a truly amazing job. You give hope for women like me that perhaps one man will stay in my life forever.  I’m now dating two guys, I know which one my heart is pumping towards too, but I’ve no idea how to keep him.  Secretly I want him to be mine for the rest of my life, but I do not know how to make the guys commit. I suppose I’ve always been useless with relationships. My parents say they doubt about if he’s the right man for me, do I need to listen and is it their place to voice their opinion to me?

So how do you keep him?  Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… Rather Than Trying to Keep Him Focus On Being The Woman The Right Man Will Adore @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever tried to keep a man? How did it feel? Did it work? Have you been focused on how to keep him, and actually found him moving further away?  Are you a man? Do you agree with what I’ve shared in the video? Has this been your experience of women and relationships? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 15 - Should I Listen To Other People About My Relationship - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

Should I Listen To Other People About My Relationship?

LPPTV Episode 15 - Should I Listen To Other People About My Relationship - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionWe all have people in our lives who care about us, and they want the best for us.

When we’re having challenges in our relationship it can be helpful to get some outside opinions and advice to help guide us through it.

But what happens if the advice doesn’t quite match up with what we wanted to hear?

…or if our friends and family decide to start sharing their opinion when we’d rather they kept them to themselves and let us figure it out on our own?

Should we listen to the advice of others when it comes to our relationship, or should we go it alone?

I know that there have been times when people have shared with me when I really wish they’d kept their thoughts to themselves, likewise there were times when I wanted advice when people didn’t tell me what they thought.

So I was really pleased when someone sent in this question to Love Polarity & Passion:  My parents say they doubt about if he’s the right man for me, do I need to listen and is it their place to voice their opinion to me?

So should you listen to others about your relationship?  Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… The Only Opinion That Matters When It Comes To Your Relationship Is Yours @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever had unwelcome advice or opinions from other people about your relationship? Or have you been on the other side where you really want to tell someone how you feel about their relationship but didn’t know how? How do you feel now you’ve watched the video?  Have you set boundaries with parents, friends or colleagues as to what is and isn’t OK for them to share?  Would you like to know more about setting boundaries? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 14 - How Can I Be Less Needy In Relationships - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

How Can I Be Less Needy In Relationships?

LPPTV Episode 14 - How Can I Be Less Needy In Relationships - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionWe’re all aware that neediness is not generally a very attractive quality in relationships.

At some point in our lives we’ve all experienced neediness.

We’ve either been with someone who felt insatiable when it came to their needs, it didn’t matter how much we did or how much we gave it didn’t seem enough.

Or we’ve been the person who was desperate to get or feel something from someone else, but they never seemed able to give it to us.

I’ve been on both sides of this equation at various points in my life, and there’s no perspective from which this feels good.

Either you feel that you can’t do anything to make your partner happy, or you want to feel something that never seems to appear.

So what is it that makes someone ‘needy’ in a relationship, and how can you be less needy when it comes to relationships?

So today I’m answering a question from Swets: “How can I be a less needy female?

Well the reality is that neediness shows up in men AND women, and the answer applies to both of them.

So how can you be less needing in relationships?  Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… In Order To Be Less Needy, Learn How To Meet Your Own Needs @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you felt needy in relationships at times?  How do you feel about it now you’ve watched the video?  Have you been with someone who felt very needy?  How did it feel to be with someone who felt needy?  Have you tried what I suggested in the video? How did it change things? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 13 - Have You Given Up Your Passions For The Person You're Passionate About - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

Have You Given Up Your Passions For The Person You’re Passionate About?

LPPTV Episode 13 - Have You Given Up Your Passions For The Person You're Passionate About - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

We all know that passion in a relationship is important.

We want that spark that turns into a flame, which turns into fireworks.

When we begin seeing someone new, it’s easy for our passion for them to take over our lives a little bit.  We want to spend every moment with them, we want to enjoy all the time we can because the feeling they inspire us feels so great.

The challenge with this is that in doing so, we can sometimes lose sight of our own passions.

We can be so focused on our passion for the other person, and for the relationship, that our individual passions can take a back seat.

I know, I’ve done this many times in the past.

So the question is, is being passionate about your partner enough?

So today I’m answering the first part of a question from Jim: In relationships, how important is it to be passionate about something in your life (and not the other person in life)? I am/was in a relationship (I am trying to salvage it by doing some self-discovering) and would always find time for them, to be together, mostly helping her. She’s a driven entrepreneur that enjoys her alone time. She is passionate about flying, and a few other things, and she asks me my passions, and I reply, I don’t know. Now, I do have plenty of passions, (hiking, golf, fishing, flying,) and plenty of things on my bucket list (driving a race car, surfing,…), but I’ve just never acted on them. I’ve always put the other person first or my family first, sacrificing my needs (buying a boat for fishing or skiing, going on fishing trips alone, etc). Now I’m divorced and trying to have another relationship, but have stumbled on this “what am I passionate about” question.”

Do you need to have your own passions in a relationship?  Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… How You Treat Yourself Is How You Are Inviting Others To Treat You, You Set The Standards@LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever found yourself putting your needs, interests and passions second for the sake of your partner and your relationship? How did that work out? How has keeping your passions alive affected your relationship? Has your partner shared that they want you to maintain your own passions? Maybe you don’t know what your passions are and how to discover them? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 11 - How To Compromise Without Compromising Yourself - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

How Do You Compromise In Relationships Without Compromising Yourself?

LPPTV Episode 11 - How To Compromise Without Compromising Yourself - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionWhen the topic of conflict in relationships comes up, the other ‘C’ word is often not far behind.

Compromise.

The challenge with compromise is that it often brings with it a feeling of needing to ‘give something up’, losing something, or compromising who we are and it can often leave us feeling a bit resentful.

When you look at some of the dictionary definitions associated with compromise, it’s no surprise that we can feel that way when we’re looking at “the expedient acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable.”

Standards that are lower than desirable, hmm, I wonder why we’re not so keen on taking that path?!

So what happens when we have a difference of opinion, we want different things, or our needs conflict?  How do we navigate through that without feeling like we’re losing out?

The question is, “How Do You Compromise Without Compromising Yourself?”

Tweet the Love… When You Know Your Individual Ideals, You Can Find What’s Ideal For The Relationship @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you felt resentful in the past when ‘needing to compromise’? Have you felt that you’ve compromised yourself? What situations have you felt that you ‘should’ compromise in? How would this approach change your feeling about compromising? What do you think about this new approach to challenging situations? Would this help you deal with future situations of this nature? Have you ever tried to do this and found challenges?  Have you any questions about this?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 10 - What Do You Do If A Guy Or Girl Suddenly Loses Interest? Part 2 - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

What’s The Second Thing You Do When Someone Suddenly Loses Interest?

LPPTV Episode 10 - What Do You Do If A Guy Or Girl Suddenly Loses Interest? Part 2 - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionLast week I began to answer a question that I get asked all the time….what do you do if a guy or girl suddenly loses interest?

It happens all the time, things seem to be going really well and all of a sudden something changes, but you’ve no idea why.

I’ve already share the first step with you (if you haven’t seen it yet, before to check it out here BEFORE you watch the video below), and it’s so important that you begin with this first step before you do step 3 in today’s video.

It’s a bit like making a cake.

If you add the ingredients in the right order, you’ll get a nice cake that you can enjoy.

If, however, you put the cake in the oven before you’ve added the eggs and sugar, the chances are that it won’t give you the best cake possible.

It’s not that the ingredients aren’t right, but the sequence is important…and the same is true in relationships.  In this situation, you can do steps 1 and 2 in any order you like…but wait for step 3 until you’ve done them!

Want to know more?  Check out the second part of my answer to the question: “What do you do if a guy or girl suddenly loses interest?”

Tweet the Love… When You’ve Got Clarity From Them, Give Clarity Back @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

What has your experience of this been? Have you had a new relationship go from ‘foot on the gas’ to being shoved into reverse? What do you think of steps 2 and 3? Would these help you deal with future situations like this? Have you ever tried to do this and found challenges?  Have you any questions about this?  

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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What is the key to great relationships?

If Relationships Are The Key To Life, What Is The Key To Having Great Relationships?

What is the key to great relationships?Why do I say that relationship are the key to life? Well, it’s really simple.

Every single area of your life is affected by relationships, they play a part in every single aspect of our lives. We’ve got our intimate relationships with our partners, relationships with family, friends and people at work like our colleagues, managers, employees, clients, customers and suppliers. Even when there’s no one else around and we’re just having a little time for us our relationship with ourselves, the most important relationship we have and yet the one that so many people forget about, is still in play.

So learning how to have really great and fulfilling relationships makes life that much more easier and enjoyable.

So if relationships are the key to life, what is the key to having great relationships?

There are a few key things that are really important in relationships, but there’s one in particular that stands out from the rest and that is to have really great communication.

Why is communication so important? Communication is the foundation of any relationship, it’s what all relationships are built on. If you don’t communicate in any way shape or form, no relationship exists.

So being able to have really great communication is the key to being able to create really great communication is the key to having really fulfilling relationships, regardless of the area of life we’re talking about.

There are obviously other aspects that play into it as well, but the most important one is how we communicate. Everyone has slightly different styles, people use different language, or even more confusingly use the same words but have completely different meanings for them! They’ve got different approaches, some people are very flamboyant and extrovert, others are more introverted.

So being able to bridge these differences in styles and have really great communication means that we’re able to have really great relationships.

Now I tend to find that the simplest tools and techniques are often the most effective, because they’re the easiest to remember and they’re easy to apply. So I’d like to share something with you today that has completely transformed my communication in relationships and could make a huge difference to yours as well.

Today I’m going to share with you a technique called the ‘STAR’ communication model.

It’s really important when we’re relating and communicating with other people that the communication is a two-way thing. Quite often what happens when we’re communicating with other people we’re really enthusiastic about what we have to say so we go into ‘broadcast mode’ where we want to get over to them our thoughts, ideas or opinions more than listen to theirs. When this begins to happen, when they’re speaking we’re just waiting for our opportunity to jump in and share our next thought rather than really listening to what they’re saying to us.

Sometimes that kind of enthusiasm for what we’re speaking about can actually get in the way of the communication, because if each of us is just waiting for our turn to speak, we’re not really taking in what the other person is saying, and if we’re not hearing what the other person is saying then the communication isn’t going to be very effective.

So I’d like to invite you to try our the Star technique the next time you’re having a conversation with someone.

So what is the Star Technique? The Star technique has 5 steps to it, and was inspired by the dictionary definition of ‘A Star’ (someone who is brilliant) because if applied well this technique can make you brilliant at communication.

The Five Steps are:

A – Awareness – Be aware of the other person, the specific language they’re using, their emotional state, how they might be different you, be aware of your outcome before you begin communicating and keep your awareness on the fact that you want to communicate well with them.

S – Stop – When it’s your turn to speak in the conversation, take a moment and pause before responding. Taking a moment takes all the difference when it comes to great communication.
T – Think – Once you’ve stopped, take a moment to think, consider what the other person’s said: Have you understood it? Have you really heard them? Did you really listen to what they had to say? Think about their perspective: Is what you’re about to say considerate of their perspective / feelings? Also think about your outcome: What is the purpose of your communication? What are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to understand them better, or are you just interested in getting your point across? …and then think about how you can communicate what you have to say best, and that has the best chance of achieving your outcome. Would a question be better than a statement? Do you need to know more in order to really respond well to what they’ve said? What would help you to get nearer to your outcome?
A – Acknowledge – Acknowledge what it is that they’ve said, before you respond. Sometimes if we jump right in with sharing what we’ve got to say without stopping first to acknowledge that we’ve actually heard what the other person’s said, that we’ve understood their point and that we’ve really listened to what they’re trying to get across to us, they can feel like it’s a one-way communication and that we’re not really listening to them or interested in what they’ve got to say. So taking a moment to stop and acknowledge them before you reply can make all the difference.
R – Respond – Responding is very different to reacting. Responding is about considering what it is that we’re trying to get across, it’s about taking into consideration what it is that this person’s just said to me, what is it that I want to get across and what’s my outcome here. Do I want to say something that’s going to move us closer together, and that’s going to move the conversation forward, or am I in danger of saying something that might alienate them, that might move us further apart? Sometimes someone can say something to us that can trigger an emotional response. Reacting is about letting our emotions drive the communication, responding is about choosing how we reply having considered our emotions and our thoughts too.

When we use the Star technique, we have awareness, we stop, we think, we acknowledge before we respond, it means that when we do reply to the other person, the way we reply is likely to be more effective. It will mean that they’re more likely to feel heard, they are more likely to feel that it’s a two-way communication and it means that you can choose the response that serves you, the other person and the relationship best.

The great thing about Star communication is that it applies to any kind of relationship in any area of life, so you can practice it any time with anyone.

So now I’d like to hear from you. What are some of the challenges that you’ve had with communication? Do you think that the Star communication technique could help improve your communication with others? Do you think it could help improve your relationships? Have you tried the Star communication technique? What has your experience been with it? Leave your questions and comments below…

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Finally, if you’d like some free tips and advice on how to improve your relationship situation, pop over here now and check out our free video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship”

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 7 - How Do You Know When You're Ready To Move On? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

LPPTV Episode 7 – How Do You Know When You’re Ready To Move On?

LPPTV Episode 7 - How Do You Know When You're Ready To Move On? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionWhenever you come out of a long term relationship, whether it was your choice or not, it can take some time to get to the point where you’re ready to date again.

We can go through the process as if we’re grieving, because we’ve ‘lost’ something.  Either something that we had, or the potential of what the relationship could have been.

It can take time, space and some deep reflection to process the emotions and the experiences to get yourself to a point where you’re ready to begin dating and considering a new relationship.

Unfortunately though, there’s no indicator light that comes on when you’re ready.  There’s no bell that sounds to say ‘That’s it! You’re done, you’ve healed enough and you can begin seeing people again’…so it can be hard to know when the time is right for you.

Having worked with single people I know that many people begin dating again before they’re ready, mainly because they don’t know how to tell.

So today I answer the question sent to me by Steph after she saw a previous episode of LPPTV, “LOVE this Claire Brummell! I think this is particularly the case after divorce I am starting to think, but energetically you need to be truly and fully apart from someone in order to make space for the new. I would love it if you could do a video on when you know you are ready to move on? THANK YOU!”

Tweet the Love… When To Move On? When You’ve Let Go Of The Past, Connected To the Present and Feel Ready For Your Future @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

What has your experience of this been? Have you moved on before you were ready and had challenges as a result of it?  What are your answers to these questions? Have you been able to get to a point where you could answer yes to all of the questions, and how has that changed your dating experience? Would you like to know how to move forward in one or more of the areas? What are the challenges you’re facing with this?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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