LPPTV Episode 3 – Do We Need Space To Be Friends?

LPPTV Episode 3 - Do we need space in order to be friends - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity & PassionThere have been several times in my relationship history that a relationship  has either come to an end, or not really ever started and one party or the other has wanted to remain friends.

Transitioning any relationship from one type to another can be challenging, but probably one of the toughest transitions is from partners, or potential partners to friends.

By being potential partners, or by being involved with each other intimately, you open yourself up to a wider range of emotions and experiences…and these can make things complicated.  When you’ve been intimately attracted to someone (or maybe are still attracted to them), or have had deep feelings of connection or romantic love, finding your way through that to friendship isn’t always easy.

So today I’m answering another question from an LPPTV viewer.  Amy asks:

“You’ve dated a guy, there was great chemistry, but you couldn’t make a relationship work, and are now trying to “be friends”, even though there are still feelings and attraction between the two of you.

My question is, is it better to cut all ties and have NO contact until both parties are “over it”, or maybe to be playful and go with the flow and see what happens?

Having been through this situation myself, I know how complicated it can be…so today I’ll answer the question, “Do we need space in order to be friends?”

Tweet the Love… To Attract Your Ideal Partner Make Sure There Is Space For Them @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you had a situation like this?  How did you deal with it?  What worked for you?  Did you find that space and time helped?  Did you choose not to have space and time and how did that work for you?  What are the challenges that you’ve had with this kind of situation?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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4 replies
  1. Nicky Lloyd Greame
    Nicky Lloyd Greame says:

    Hi Claire

    This is exactly what has happened to me – on several occasions – but in the first few occasions we didn’t give it time and it didn’t work. On the most recent occasion however, I made a conscious decision to take some space and then we started again as friends. This was important to me as we had both felt a very strong connection unlike anything either of us had experienced before…. and I am now happy to say he is now one of my closest friends and we spend lots of time hanging out and talking – and we even share dating advice! I’m so pleased I took the time and overcame my fears (based on what had happened previously) as I wouldn’t be without that friendship now. 🙂

    Reply
    • Claire
      Claire says:

      Hi Nicky, Thanks so much for sharing, I’m sure your experience will help others in the same situation, and I’m delighted that by taking some time and space you managed to create such a great friendship!

      Reply
  2. Jeffrey Duaso
    Jeffrey Duaso says:

    Hi Claire,

    I also had this experience as of today.we broke up a month ago now.it’s really hard for me to let go.but i was able to give her time by not seing each other.we work in a different company on a different schedule.that probably help us to give along the space and time.we we’ve met last night to watch movie and we both enjoy few hours of our time.during that moment we still do the same when were still in relastionship.we still hug,kiss and hold hands together.she still allow me to visit her place.but the challenge is her mom doesn’t want me to be there at all.her mom dont like me at all because of being alcoholoic.but things have change.i was able to limit myself for being alcoholic for a change.as this was also my promise to my self for this year to limit myself and focus on what i have right now.

    What would you think of our situation?as i am thinking that we are starting from scratch to build a new chapter for a better relationship.i believe she was able to overcome the past and mine too.

    Would this be a good chance of building a foundation of a new chapter of our lives and get this thing to come along for a long term relationship again.? We’ve been 2 years for the past relationship and we did plan for our weeding as well before.

    Or do i need to stop courting her again since her mom does not like ke at all?i cant visit her place as her mom will just be mad to her and i will make her guilty of what she did.

    Or shall i continue what we are doing,enjoying togeher without her mom knowing it?

    Please have some advice on the situation i have.

    Hope to hear you soon.

    Regards,
    Jeffrey

    Reply
    • Claire
      Claire says:

      Hi Jeffrey,

      Thank you for reaching out with your question, I’m sure it’s one that others may have too.

      As your questions is very specific and has a lot of elements to it, it’s difficult to give you a thorough answer here, but I will give you a few things to consider.

      The first is that it seems like at the moment the lines are very blurred between friendship and relationship for the two of you. Although you’ve had time apart, it doesn’t sound like there’s been enough time (and use of that time) to disentangle the emotional attachment between the two of you to re-establish a solid foundation of friendship. If you were to move forward with a relationship now it wouldn’t be ‘starting from scratch’ because you’ve slipped back to the behaviour you had when you were in a relationship together. If you truly want a different future, you need to really create a clean slate.
      I would advise for the two of you to sit down and have an honest conversation about what you want from this situation, what wasn’t working before (why you split), what needs to happen in order for you to consider revisiting this as a relationship and whether you are able to give each other what you want and need for this to be a healthy fulfilling relationship.
      The alcoholism is a separate issue to the relationship, but one which I recommend you getting professional help with as a priority for two reasons (1) for yourself and (2) because addictions of any description (whether limited or not) can have significant impacts on any relationship, and it will be challenging to move forward while that is a presence.
      Finally someone else not liking you is not a reason to have or not have a relationship (I shared a post on this a while ago: ), but it sounds like from what you’ve shared that there are some important areas to address between the two of you that will take a lot of communication and honesty to resolve before making the decision to move forward or not.

      If you wanted some more personal help or insights I would recommend booking a discovery session to have some one-on-one time with me where I can help provide you with some insights on the specifics of your situation – you can find the link for that here:

      Wishing you luck with resolving your situation.

      Claire

      Reply

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