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LPPTV Episode 21 - Is there any such thing as the one

Is There Any Such Thing As ‘The One’?

LPPTV Episode 21 - Is there any such thing as the oneIs he the one for me?

Is she the one for me?

I have been asked by both the young and the old whether there is any such thing as ‘the one’.

In our culture, we seem to be fixated on finding ‘the one’, that one special person who is a perfect fit for us.

…and we tend to believe that if we find ‘the one’ that everything else will be relatively easy. If a relationship is challenging, we can assume that we’ve made a mistake, that they’re not ‘the one’ and therefore want to move on to someone else, afraid we’re wasting our time with the wrong person and that we might be missing out on finding our ‘one’.

I too was always trying to analyse if the person in my life was ‘the one’. For years, each relationship I was constantly checking, analysing, judging…was the person I had in front of me my ‘one’?

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had the conversation “Is there any such thing as the one?” and most people have asked themselves this question at some point or another, but rarely do they find an answer.

Have you always been on the look out for the right person? Have you been trying endlessly to find the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with? Is this causing any problems in your current relationship? And more importantly, are you being realistic?

Would you like to know if there’s one perfect person out there for you? Watch today’s video now to find out…

Tweet the Love… Rather than looking for the one, look for the right one for right now @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you. Have you been looking for the one?  Did you think it was possible to find the perfect person? Did this cause any problems in your relationship? Are you always trying to analyse the person who is with you and trying to find out if he/she is the perfect person? Has this ruined your relationship? Have you tried what I mentioned in the video? Did it work for you?  Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, is there a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV? What is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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heal broken heart

The 5 most important things to help you deal with a broken heart…

heal broken heartBy now, I’m sure you know that during the course of my life I’ve had to face one of the more difficult challenges that life has to offer more than once…how to deal with a broken heart.

After going through the normal reaction involving tears, above average chocolate consumption and an extra glass of wine here and there, the question I asked myself was “How could this experience help the people that I work with?”

The answer I got was to share with you the 5 most important things to help you deal with a broken heart.

Heartbreak is never easy, always painful and can take some time, so finding ways to make the journey a little more bearable is important.  So, following on from last week’s “How to deal with a broken heart” here are are the 5 most important things to help make the journey a little easier:

1. Feel the emotion – It can be easy to put the barriers up, and close yourself off to try and protect yourself from the pain.  But by doing that you only end up hurting yourself in the long run.  It’s so important to stay open and feel the emotions fully as and when they come up, in order for you to then be able to let them go and begin to heal.  In order to make this a little easier try and remember to stay “R.E.A.L.”

Recognise – Recognise an emotion as it comes up, no judgment, just be aware of how you’re feeling and allow yourself to face it rather than finding some way to distract yourself or avoid it.

Experience – Let yourself feel the emotion completely.  Don’t hold back, just allow yourself to feel how you need to feel.  If you need to cry, cry, if you need to shout, shout, if you want to laugh, laugh…but allow yourself to experience the emotion fully.

Accept – Accept the way that things are.  The situation as it is and what has happened.  Give yourself permission to feel how you feel and accept that it’s ok to feel sad / angry / disappointed / upset or whatever it is that you’re feeling.

Let go – Release the emotion…let it go.  Once you’ve felt it there is no reason to hang onto it anymore, it won’t serve you to do so.

2. Take some space – When you go through a major life change like a breakup, it’s important to give yourself a bit of space.  If possible, don’t make any major decisions for a month or two, to allow yourself to adjust to the changes in your life.  Just give yourself a bit of space and time to feel what you need to feel, begin to heal and work out what you would like for yourself next.

3. Focus on you and your needs – As you no longer have to worry about a partner’s feelings, wants, needs or desires, now is the time to focus on you.  What do you want? What makes you happy?  What makes you smile?  What would you like to do?  I’m not talking about big-picture long-term stuff here, I’m talking about day-to-day, what would make you feel good?  Work out what it is, and make sure that you are meeting your needs and wants.  Whether that’s a walk in the country, a night out dancing, some cave time, or an indulgent day to pamper yourself.

4. Let others be there for you – If you are lucky enough to have people around you who care for you and want to be there for you, let them.  If they were going through a tough time you would want to be able to support them, so let them do the same for you.  Having people around who care about you, even if its just company while you watch a film, can really help.  …and if they give great hugs, even better 🙂

5. Be Kind to yourself – Be gentle with yourself.  Don’t expect yourself to feel instantly better overnight.  Allow yourself the time and space you need to heal…and treat yourself kindly on the journey.

I know firsthand how difficult dealing with heartbreak can be…as you know by now, I’ve faced it a number of times.

But believe me, if you can remember these 5 important things it will make the journey a little easier…and someday soon, after a bit of time for you, you’ll be ready to love again.

With Love,

Claire x

LPPTV Episode 20 - How Can You Travel Together Without Ruining Your Relationship? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

How Do You Travel Together Without Ruining Your Relationship?

LPPTV Episode 20 - How Can You Travel Together Without Ruining Your Relationship? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionI don’t know about you, but I can’t tell you about the number of trips that I’ve been on where a problem with the person I’ve been travelling with has really put a dampener on the trip.

Whether that person was a friend, a family member, a partner or even a stranger I met while on my trip, I can remember challenges with pretty much all of them at some time or another.

I can vividly recall (much to my embarrassment now) arguments in Epcot Centre in Orlando, on the streets of Prague and countless other destinations over the years.

…and unfortunately I’m not alone.

From a recent piece of research, it was discovered that when travelling with a partner, 79% of people have at least 2 big fights on a trip, 62% fight daily and for a shocking 12% of couples the problems on a trip caused a relationship to end.

I’ve also been in that last group too.

But why does travelling with someone else create such challenges?  Well, when you’re together, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, it puts a magnifying glass on your relationship.  The good stuff gets better…and the challenges, well, they can seem overwhelming.

So when someone asked me how you can travel with someone, friend, family member, partner, or even someone you’ve just met, without it ruining both your trip and your relationship…and even how the experience of travel can improve your relationship, I had to record an episode of LPPTV to share with you.

So how do you travel together without ruining your relationship?  Watch the video now to find out…

Tweet the Love… In Order To Prevent Challenges When Travelling Make Sure You Communicate @LovePPassion

…and if you’re planning a trip with someone and want even more tips and advice on how travelling together can enhance and improve your trip and your relationship, click here now to see the videos I mention above.

Now I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever travelled with someone else?  How did it go? Was it smooth sailing? Or did you have some problems? Has travelling with someone else ruined a trip? Or a relationship? Have you tried what I mentioned in the video? Did it work for you?  Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, is there a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV? What is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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Broken Heart, Heartbreak

How to deal with Heartbreak…

Broken Heart, HeartbreakA question that I get asked on a regular basis is “How do I deal with a broken heart?” and specifically from women “How do I deal with a broken heart and still stay in my feminine?”

As we know, being feminine is about being open and embracing the ability to be vulnerable. So when I first wrote this article several years ago, I shared completely open about my personal situation…

At the time I had recently experienced heartbreak first-hand.

I didn’t go into details, except to say that a few weeks earlier my partner took the decision to leave. …leaving me to deal with a broken heart.

Luckily or unluckily, depending on which way you look at it, this was not my first trip around this merry-go-round. So as painful as it was, at least I knew what to expect.

Every breakup is different, but the emotions are often the same or very similar.

You have either lost or had taken away from you something that you cherished…so there is a real feeling of grief and pain.

Most of us know that there are 5 theoretical stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (of which I’ve experienced at least 3 in the last few weeks…)

But knowing the stages that you’re going to experience doesn’t actually help you to deal with them.

So how do you deal with it?  …and as a woman, how do you deal with it and still stay in your feminine?

Being open, emotionally connected and vulnerable is painful when you are going through a breakup. But from my own personal experience, the alternative can come back to bite you …

I experienced my first real heartbreak at the age of 24. It was with the first man who I truly loved and who I had moved to a new area of the country to be with.

The split came totally out of the blue for me. I had no idea that it was coming and it was a complete shock.

It was like someone had just pulled the bottom out of my world.

As we lived together, and I had very few friends in the area where we lived, I had to leave in the middle of the night and went back home to my parents’ house.

For three days I completely fell apart.

…and I mean completely and totally fell apart.

I was inconsolable.

The worst part of it wasn’t actually the pain I was experiencing, although it was gut wrenching. As strange as this may sound, the worst part was watching my family watching me going through it.

We have always been a very close family and seeing the pain on their faces, watching me going through it while knowing there was nothing they could do to take it away, was unbearable.

After three days I’d had enough.

I was tired of crying. I was tired of feeling so awful. I was determined to take control again. So given that I was going to be moving to be closer to my friends and family there were plenty of things for me to focus on.

I was focused on getting a new job, finding a flat, anything and everything to distract myself from feeling as bad as I did.

…and for a while it worked.

I moved, I started my new job and began my new life.

Until one day, about 6 months after the split, I was walking back to my car after a long day at the office when it hit me like a freight train.

All of a sudden, I was experiencing all the emotions and pain that I had felt immediately following the split.

I no longer had anything to distract me from it. I hadn’t dealt with it…I’d just buried it.

…and although I’d done a good job, it wasn’t going to stay buried forever.

I was a mess.

I asked all of my friends for help.

“What do I do?”

They all came back with the same reply.

“You just need to deal with it”.

Well, as helpful as that sounded, I was none the wiser. Because I was happy to deal with it, I WANTED to deal with it, I just didn’t know how.

When I asked them “OK, so how do I deal with it?” I got nothing but blank faces in response.

So I muddled my way through and after a rollercoaster couple of years, I eventually felt that I was over it.

Unfortunately this wasn’t my only experience of heartbreak.

A few years later I found myself in exactly the same situation. Another breakup from out of the blue…and another broken heart.

Again, for a few days I totally fell apart…but this time was different.

This time I had the wisdom of “Sex and the City” to guide me through.

Bear with me, it’s not as crazy as it sounds.

You see one day, not long after this second breakup, I was watching an episode of “Sex and the City” which provided me with all the answers I was looking for.

The episode is in season 6 and is called “One”. Charlotte finds out that she is pregnant, but after a brief moment of joy she loses the baby.

She is plunged into a state of depression and Harry (her husband) tells Miranda (one of her best friends) how worried he is about her. He doesn’t know what to do.

Miranda’s response is simple.

“She’ll be ok, she just has to feel it”

Light bulb moment.

You have to feel it.

That’s how you deal with it. You feel it.

What I’ve since learned is that it’s only when you allow yourself to really feel and experience the emotions fully, that you can release them.

Anything else results in just burying the emotions, and no matter how deep you bury them, they will still be there, still hurting you.

What’s worse is at some point they will bubble up to the surface…often when you least expect them to, and usually at an even worse time.

So cry if you need to cry, shout if you need to shout, feel the fear, the pain, the hurt…all of it, as and when it comes up.

…and when you’ve felt it completely, you can then let it go.

Although it might be painful in the short-term…letting yourself feel these emotions means that you can release them and begin to heal.

It doesn’t happen overnight, but it does get you through it as quickly as possible.

So that’s exactly what I’m did when I wrote this article.

I felt what I need to feel, as and when the emotions came up. Acknowledging them, feeling them completely, moving through them and then finally, bit by bit, beginning to release them.

So here I am, a few years later, sharing this article that feels like it was from another lifetime.  I dealt with it, I released it, and I moved on, and after some time, space and healing I attracted a man who is 10 times the man I had experienced this heartbreak with.  The experience taught me what I needed to know, and allowed me to learn, so that now I’m travelling the world with the man I love, helping people to create incredible relationships!

I learned a lot in the process and next week I will be sharing the 5 most important things to help you deal with a broken heart, so watch this space or even better sign up for updates below so you get it sent directly to your inbox!

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 19 - Why The Grass Is Never Greener - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

Why The Grass Is Never Greener…

LPPTV Episode 19 - Why The Grass Is Never Greener - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionI’ve been there, and I’m sure you have too.

For whatever reason, your current relationship situation isn’t quite working out the way you want it to.

Maybe you’re in a relationship and having some problems.

Maybe you’re single and not enjoying it.

Maybe you’ve changed how you feel about the person you’re with.

You look around you at the other people in your life – family, friends, colleagues, even strangers – and we see what they have, and it seems so much better.

Maybe they’re single and you love the idea of all the freedom they seem to have.

Maybe they’re in a relationship that seems to be wonderful, and better than any you’ve ever experienced.

Maybe they’re having an affair and seem to be having the best of both worlds.

We look and it seems like the grass is greener in their field.

I see this all the time, this concept causes people to end their relationship and later regret it, jump into relationships that aren’t right for them, just so they’re not single any more, or choose to cheat on their partner.

But I’m here to tell you that the grass is NEVER greener.

How can I be so sure?  Watch the video now to find out…

Tweet the Love… The Grass Is Always Greener Where You Water It @LovePPassion

…and before I get a raft of comments asking if I’m saying that you should never leave a relationship, or give up your single life, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do either of these things.  What I’m saying is before you do, consider both sides of both coins, and make sure the choice you make really is the right one for you.

Now I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever looked at what someone else has and thought ‘I want that’? Has it led you to make a hasty choice, that you’ve since regretted? Have you jumped into another field to find that the grass isn’t greener, it’s just a different shade of green? Or have you changed your approach to your own relationship, and seen your own grass get greener?  Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, is there a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV? What is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 18 - How Do You Trust Again? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

How Do You Trust Again?

LPPTV Episode 18 - How Do You Trust Again? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

Most of us, at some point in our lives have suffered the pain of a broken heart.

We’ve loved, we’ve lost and quite often we find out along the way that the person we chose might not have been quite who we thought they were.

We might have had experiences where we’ve been lied to, where we were on the receiving end of infidelity, where we were taken advantage of financially, or simply that the person we thought we knew wasn’t the person we thought they were.

I’ve been there myself, in fact I’ve experienced each of the scenarios I’ve mentioned above.

I’ve also hit the point that many others do, where I ask myself, “How can I do this again? How can I go through this again? How can I trust someone new?”

So when I was asked the question “How can I learn to trust again in a new relationship? I knew I had to do an episode of LPPTV.

So, how do you trust again? Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… In Order To Trust Somebody Else First Learn To Trust Yourself @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever wondered how you’ll be able to trust again? Do you want to know how to build the trust I speak about in the video? Have you been let down and it affected your ability to trust? Have you tried what I’ve spoken about in the video, and learned to trust again? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 17 - Why Do Women Ignore Me? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

Why Do Women Ignore Me?

LPPTV Episode 17 - Why Do Women Ignore Me? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionIn the last episode of LPPTV we looked at a question which I hear from a lot of women.  This week I wanted to do an episode which speaks specifically to men.

While the issue that I talk about today affects both men and women, this question was sent into me from a man who wanted some help.

There’s nothing worse than feeling invisible or ignored.

Unless it’s by someone who you’re attracted to.

If you’re a man who is looking to date and connect with a woman, feeling like she doesn’t even know or care that you’re there can be at best uncomfortable and at worst crushing.

The worst thing about this kind of situation is that most of the time we don’t know why.

Is it about them?

Is it about us?

What can we do to change it?

So when I got this question through I am not successful and I don’t have my life together. so women always ignore me. I am 28 years old and I have no career I am stuck I need your help.” I had to do an episode of LPPTV to respond.

What do you do when it feels like women are ignoring you?  Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… When You Feel Good About You You Become Naturally Attractive To Others @LovePPassion

…and if after watching the video you would like to find out more about coaching and mentoring with me, then click here for more information

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever felt ignored by members of the opposite sex? How did it feel? Have you found that when you feel good about yourself that you are more attractive to people around you? Have you felt stuck in life and found that it was showing up in your relationships and dating life too? Do you agree with what I’ve shared in the video? Has this been your experience of relationships? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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The Big Virtual Detox With Rachel Swann - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

What’s The One Tip That Can Transform Any Type Of Relationship?

The Big Virtual Detox With Rachel Swann - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionThis is the time when normally I would be sharing my weekly LPPTV episode, but this week I want to share something a little bit different.

You see this week I was asked by the lovely Rachel Swann to join her on her Big Virtual Detox to share some advice for everyone on relationships.

I do these kinds of interviews, webinars and tele seminars on a regular basis, but when Rachel asked me what was the one piece of advice I could give that could help someone to improve any relationship, I had to share the answer I gave with you.

So what’s the one tip that can transform any type of relationship?  Watch the video now to find out:

…and if you’d like to catch the rest of the interviews in the Big Virtual Detox, click here now to check them out.

Now I’d love to hear from you.

What’s the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever heard? What’s the one thing that you’d really like to get some help with? What’s the one thing that’s transformed a relationship situation for you? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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LPPTV Episode 16 - How Do I Keep Him? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and Passion

How Do I Keep Him?

LPPTV Episode 16 - How Do I Keep Him? - Claire Brummell, The Relationist, Love Polarity and PassionI don’t know any woman who hasn’t had this thought at some point in her life.

You’re dating a man that you think is amazing.

He has all of the qualities that you’re looking for in your ideal partner.

You feel happy around him.

You believe this could be ‘The One’.

The only thing that is worrying you is, how can I make sure that he stays?

What can I do to keep him in my life?

How can I ensure that he continues to want me?

You don’t want to lose him, so what can you do?

So I was really pleased when I got this question through from Anna “Hi Claire, I’m always quite reserved with compliments, but I must say your work is always greatly appreciated, you’re doing a truly amazing job. You give hope for women like me that perhaps one man will stay in my life forever.  I’m now dating two guys, I know which one my heart is pumping towards too, but I’ve no idea how to keep him.  Secretly I want him to be mine for the rest of my life, but I do not know how to make the guys commit. I suppose I’ve always been useless with relationships. My parents say they doubt about if he’s the right man for me, do I need to listen and is it their place to voice their opinion to me?

So how do you keep him?  Watch the video now to find out:

Tweet the Love… Rather Than Trying to Keep Him Focus On Being The Woman The Right Man Will Adore @LovePPassion

Now I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever tried to keep a man? How did it feel? Did it work? Have you been focused on how to keep him, and actually found him moving further away?  Are you a man? Do you agree with what I’ve shared in the video? Has this been your experience of women and relationships? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, ask me a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV, what is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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What is feminine not?

What Is Feminine Not?

What is feminine not?When people learn the name of my website, one of the first questions I get asked is ‘What is Polarity?’

Having answered this question in Episode 6 of LPPTV, the next two questions tend to come quite quickly. Having learned that polarity is the natural attraction between the masculine and the feminine, the next obvious questions are ‘what is feminine’ and ‘what is masculine’?

But before I answer the question ‘what is feminine’ it’s important to answer the question what is feminine not.

When most people think of the word feminine, they tend to bring to mind concepts and images that don’t reflect the reality of femininity, and are often very negative. There are so many misperceptions about what the word feminine actually means, and I think it’s important that we address these up front.

Over the last couple of decades, the word feminine (unless referring to the latest Ralph Lauren line) hasn’t always been seen as the most flattering description for a woman.

A few summers ago when Susan Walsh suggested that women “try on” femininity for a short while to see how it fitted, one woman remarked that she saw being described as the most feminine member of staff at her place of work insulting as she believed that feminine = weak and that it meant that she wasn’t being taken seriously.

Does Feminine = Weak?

So let’s start with weakness.  Feminine has about as much to do with weakness as Manolo Blahnik has to do with aubergines.  In fact, a genuinely feminine woman who is connected to her femininity is incredibly powerful; feminine strength just presents itself in a different way to masculine strength.  Masculine strength comes from tension and contraction whereas feminine strength comes from flow and flexibility.  A feminine woman is a force of nature.  Watch a feminine woman walk into a room and ask any man in there whether femininity is weakness, and you’ll get your answer.

Does Feminine = Submission?

Another common misperception is that being feminine involves being submissive and appeasing people around you (especially men).  If you look at the definition of submission in the dictionary it talks about ‘yielding to a superior force’. Again, nothing could be further from the truth. There is no better or worse when it comes to the masculine and feminine, they are equal and opposite to each other, each have their unique strengths and weaknesses. So the feminine is complementary to the masculine, not inferior to it in any way shape or form. Connecting with the feminine is about being true to yourself, finding your inner feminine strength and self respect and bringing the best of who you naturally are to complement the masculine in both yourself, and in those around you.

Does Feminine = Pink and Fluffy?

I’ve also heard several women say that being feminine is about being girly, pink and fluffy, or replicating old-fashioned domesticity.  Every time I hear femininity described in this way, it is always followed up with a comment along the lines of “but that’s not who I am”.  Femininity comes from the inside out;  it’s not something that you ‘put on’ in order to give an appearance, it has nothing to do with any colour, style of dress, accessories, hair styles or make up.  Femininity is only true femininity when it’s totally authentic.

Does Feminine = Non-Feminist?

Let’s be clear about this.  Feminism is all about equality.  Femininity has nothing to do with refuting equality, in fact I’m a fully subscribed feminist, and I’m a very feminine woman.  The reason so many people believe that femininity and feminism can’t co-exist is that they’ve misunderstood equal to be ‘The Same’.  Men and women are not the same, we are equal and opposite. Masculine is no better or worse, stronger or weaker than feminine, they’re just different.  They are equal and opposite, like many forces in nature, the positive and negative on a battery, the north and south on a magnet, day and night, light and dark. None of these is stronger or weaker without the other, and neither part of any pair can exist without the other.  The same is true of masculinity and femininity.  So can you be feminine and a feminist? Oh yes.

Does Feminine = Anti-men?

Being anti-men is not pro-women, in fact, being anti-anyone and everyone loses.  Femininity is nothing to do with being anti-men, in fact a feminine woman has great respect for the men in her life, as a masculine man has great respect for the women in his life.

So I’d like to hear from you now.  What comes to YOUR mind when you hear the word feminine or femininity?  Have you ever thought that feminine was weak? Or Submissive? Or against feminism? Or Pink and Fluffy? What have your experiences of femininity been? What are your questions about femininity?

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Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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