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Why Does Heartbreak Hurt So Much?

Broken-HeartLast week I shared that December is known as the annual breakup season, and a lot of people shared how the article had come at the perfect time for them, because they were dealing with a recent break up themselves.

When I started hearing this, it took me back to some of my own personal experiences of heartbreak.

If a relationship has ended, at some level it wasn’t working. If you’re truly honest with yourself, I’m sure you don’t want to be in a relationship where you’re unhappy and unfulfilled or in a relationship where the other person is unhappy or unfulfilled, for whatever reason, because we know deep in our hearts that neither of those scenarios make for a good relationship in the long term. But that doesn’t stop it from hurting….and hurting deeply.

I know. I’ve experienced it first-hand many times.

…and I can vividly recall the times where I’ve felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world.

My experience with heartbreak…

Those moments in time where it felt like an effort just to keep breathing in and out.

The pain, the sadness, the numbness, the confusion, the fear…the complete and total overwhelm of experiencing so many emotions and thoughts at the same time, and not being able to make sense of any of them.

Mind and heart reeling, with no way out, only through.

When I brought these moments of my life to mind, I started to think about heartbreak, and why it hurts so much. As soon as I asked this question, two answers came to me.

The first you’ll no doubt have heard before. The second may be a bit of a surprise…

So why does heartbreak hurt so much?

So the first answer that came to me is that we’re experiencing a loss, which brings with it a sense of grief.

Whether a relationship has come to an end because we’ve chosen to end it, because someone else has chosen to end it, or because it’s been mutually decided that it’s for the best, we are still losing something.

We may not be grieving for the relationship as it was, but instead for the relationship that we thought it was going to be, the relationship it had the potential to be, or the relationship we wanted it to be.

It might seem strange to be grieving for something that you’ve never actually had…but losing the POSSIBILITY of something, is still a loss, and we still experience a sense of grief when the possibility appears to be no more.

We miss the other person…or maybe we don’t, maybe we miss who they used to be, who we thought they were, or who we thought they would become.

Whatever it is that we’re losing, whether it’s was something we had, something we thought we had, or something we thought we were going to have, it’s important to honour the fact that we will experience a sense of grief when the loss becomes a reality.

Most people have heard of the 5 stages of grief (or the Kübler-Ross model) where you go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance…but what most people don’t know is that the best way through all the stages, is to fully experience each stage, feel complete with it and then transition through to the next stage…in the timeframe that is right for you.

Do you allow yourself to ‘go through’ heartbreak?

When it comes to heartbreak though, a lot of people don’t allow themselves to go through this grieving process fully…they expect to just ‘feel better’ at some point, get told to snap out of it by someone trying to ‘help’, or distract themselves from really experiencing the feeling because it’s uncomfortable (whether that’s through alcohol, TV, another relationship or any other way to avoid the feelings)…and therefore get ‘stuck’ in one stage.

As I’ve said before, when you’re in this kind of emotional experience, the best way out of it really is through it…allowing yourself to fully feel each aspect of what you’re experiencing in order that you can then release it.

So if you’re in it right now, start to notice where you might be wanting to avoid or distract yourself from how you’re really feeling…because that in itself can be keeping you ‘in it’ and preventing you from moving through it to the other side.

The second answer that came to me when I asked the question “Why does heartbreak hurt so much?” hit me hard.

Because it was probably one of the hardest things for me to understand and begin to accept about my own experiences with heartbreak…and it was also the single, most powerful realisation that transformed my experience with heartbreak forever.

So join me again next week where I will be sharing the insight that changed how I experience heartbreak…and which helped me reach the point where, I began to eventually be able to see each one as a gift.

…and if you’re currently dealing with a break up and you’d like to find out how I might be able to help you through it, then either send me an email: claire@lovepolarityandpassion.com or book a discovery session here to get some help and support when dealing with heartbreak during the holiday season.

With Love,

Claire x

Would you like to know how to avoid the annual breakup season?

breakupThe festive season can be wonderful.

…it can also be a really challenging time of year.

Family commitments, present-buying, Christmas parties, money-worries, end of year deadlines…

It’s a recipe for a stress-cocktail.

It’s no surprise that according to Facebook, December is the month of the year with the highest number of breakups.

The problem with stress is that we have a tendency to take it out on the people who are closest to us. They are the people who see every side of us…the good, the bad and the very ugly.

We don’t put on pretenses for those who are closest to us…and we don’t tend to pull our punches.

You see, when we’re under stress our bodies jump into fight or flight mode.

Why is this the annual breakup season?

We learned our stress responses many years ago when ‘stress’ was caused by coming face-to-face with a saber-toothed tiger or a woolly mammoth. It was a matter of survival. Us or them.

Unfortunately our stress responses have not evolved with our lives…so we get the same rush of adrenaline and hormones when dealing with an urgent deadline as we did when being considered as a Paleolithic beast’s lunch.

So when we feel stress we see the world as a threat…including our partner.

When we see someone or something as a threat, all compassion and understanding tends to fly out of the nearest window. We have two go-to responses; protect & defend ourselves, and attack.

…and when one person gets defensive or confrontational, the other person often isn’t far behind.

So how can we avoid the stress-loop that often leads to a breakup?

The biggest problem when we enter this stress-pattern is that we forget that we are on the same side.

We’re on the same team.

They aren’t your adversary, they’re your team-mate.

Think about a football team. How successful do you think a team would be if they spent all their time tackling each other rather than focusing on the opposition, or the goal?

Not very.

You see, our response to stress often has us drawing battle lines against the person with whom you could instead be creating a battle strategy WITH.

So if you notice yourself dropping into ‘confrontation mode’ with your partner, here are a few simple steps to help you get back in each other’s corner again.

  1. Stop – So many of our troubles at this time of year start because rather than responding to what’s happening we react. We fire right back at the moment we feel upset or triggered without taking a moment to stop and consider how we want to respond, or the consequences of our reaction. Take a pause…it could make all the difference.
  2. Breathe – Take a deep breath, and allow yourself to let go of some of the tension in your body. When we go into fight of flight mode our muscles tense in order to be ready to swing a right-hook, or run for the hills. Taking a deep breath and shaking out your body can release some of this tension and help you to relax.
  3. Ask yourself a question (or two)…(or three) – When we feel this way, it tends to be because we’ve attributed a meaning to our partner’s behavior (what they’ve said / not said / done / not done) that might not be in-line with the intention behind it. So ask yourself “What else could this mean?”, could there be another reason than the one you’ve got in your mind? The other question to ask yourself here is “What is my outcome?” what do you really want in this moment? Do you want to be right? Or Do you want to be happy? Do you want to fight? Or do you want to build a bridge with the person who is usually your biggest ally? The final question to ask yourself is “How do I REALLY want to deal with this?” Your reaction has the potential to create a battleground or a dance floor, to fire an attack or wave a white flag, to metaphorically slap them in the face or reach out to connect with them. This is your moment to choose how you show up, which has the ability to completely transform the situation.
  4. Apologise – At this point you may be a little confused. Apologise? But they’re the one who’s upset me! While that may be true…step back a little bit. Is there something that you’ve said or done (or not said or done) that might have caused a reaction in them? Might they have misinterpreted your actions or words? If you can see how they might be upset, apologise for your part in what’s happened, without reservation, and without bringing how you’re feeling into it (for now).  When you do this for another person, they go from attack and defend mode to putting both their weapons and their defences down. This is the first step towards working together to find a solution.
  5. Ask for their help – This situation could simply be happening because they don’t really know what you want or need, and how to give it to you…so the easiest way for them to be able to do this is for you to tell them. But barking instructions at them is probably not going to help them feel you’re on the same side. Instead ask for their help…ask for what you want and need, show them how to help and support you.
  6. Remind them (and most importantly yourself) that you’re on the same team – Remember that you’re on the same team.  Remind them (with kindness) that you’re on their team…and that you know that they’re on your team too. Just verbalising this can make such a difference to how you both perceive what’s going on. It might be a misunderstanding, it might be a difference of opinion, but if you’re on the same side, you can figure it out together.

When you’re on the same side, dealing with the stress of the season seems so much more manageable…and you know you’re not dealing with it alone. Navigating your way through the festive period can both pull you together, or tear you apart…choosing to be on the same team can make it more likely to be the former.

…but what if you do breakup?

If you do break up this time of year, there are a few things to bear in mind.

If the choice to separate wasn’t yours, then the other person has done you the favour of walking away from you. You want to be with someone who chooses you, who sees you, who values you…who wants to be with you. If this person has made another choice, you deserve more.

But knowing that doesn’t make the process of dealing with it any easier…so you might want to check out a couple of these articles to help you through the process:

The new year is a good time to move start afresh, to go through the process of letting go of the past and to begin to attract and create the relationship that you desire and deserve.

…and if you think the advice in this post could help someone you know, I would love for you take a few seconds to share it.

Would you like some help in navigating the annual breakup season?

Often when we’re dealing with relationship challenges, whether it’s stress, money, arguments, worries about trust or infidelity, it can be tough to do it on your own. It can feel isolating and lonely, especially when everyone around you seems to be enjoying a challenge-free festive season with their loved ones.

Or maybe you’re single and worried about how to enjoy the festivities without a special someone to share it with? Maybe you’re worried about the comments or questions from family about ‘When are you going to find someone?’ Maybe you’re just fed up of the thought of another Christmas and New Years Eve on your own?

So if you’d like to find out how I might be able to help you with your specific relationship concerns, worries or challenges at this time of year, then either send me an email: claire@lovepolarityandpassion.com or book a discovery session here to find out how you can avoid or reduce the relationship challenges that most people face at this time of year.

It can be a tough time to navigate, and it’s so much easier when you know you’re not doing it alone.

With Love,

Claire x

When to say "F*ck That" to Gratitude

When to say ‘F*ck That’ to gratitude

When to say "F*ck That" to GratitudeI’m all for an attitude of gratitude, in fact I’ve spent a lot of time blogging about it over the past 3-4 years.

If you’d prefer to read a nice, happy, focus on the positive blog post to celebrate this day of thanks, then my advice is to cut your losses now and head over to one of these other posts:

http://feminine1st.com/life-as-a-woman/the-attitude-of-gratitude/

http://feminine1st.com/life-as-a-woman/can-you-always-find-the-gratitude/

http://feminine1st.com/life-as-a-woman/grateful-things-dont-work-way-planned-expected/

http://feminine1st.com/life-as-a-woman/how-often-do-you-thank-you/

If you’re looking for a real, honest, pull no punches, I wanna get down to the nitty-gritty post, keep reading.

As we know, gratitude is a game-changer.

It’s the antidote to a lot of the emotions we label as ‘negative’.

It’s not possible to feel gratitude and fear at the same time, it’s not possible to feel gratitude and anger at the same time, it’s not possible to feel gratitude and judgment at the same time.

In fact a good old dose of gratitude can pretty much help you feel better in the midst of any emotional challenge.

…and therein lies the problem.

Feeling authentically grateful, because that’s the emotion that’s primary in your life at any point in time is wonderful.

But the challenge for a lot of us is that we try to use gratitude as a tool, to avoid, or distract ourselves from the other emotions we’re feeling and experiencing. In short, to make ourselves feel better when we’re really feeling something else instead.

I mean, who’d want to feel angry, if you can go for gratitude instead?

Who’d choose sadness over feeling grateful?

Who’d opt for disappointment over being thankful?

When we are faced with the alternative of something that, let’s face it, feel’s pretty crappy, why would you feel that over something that feels so much better?

Well, the answer is, because every emotion serves a purpose. It’s our body’s way of processing the experiences that we’re having. If we feel angry, there’s a reason for it, something has happened to trigger anger in us and it’s important for us to allow ourselves to be in the emotion, to feel the anger fully, in order that it can serve its purpose and we can learn from it and let it go.

If we don’t allow ourselves to feel it, we don’t ever really process the situation, instead we end up holding onto it (and the emotion), and it just sits deep inside us festering and fermenting away until one day it pops up unexpectedly out of nowhere and rears it’s ugly head.

Because now we’re not just dealing with the emotion, we’re dealing with the emotion + interest.

Being thanksgiving, I was going to write an article today about gratitude.

I had a few options available to me.

Maybe a piece about how shifting to a perspective of gratitude towards your partner instead of focusing on their shortcomings can transform a relationship (which it can, by the way).

Or a nice article on how feeling grateful for our heartbreaks can transform the experience and help you to see how each one has given you something and contributed to your learning along the way (again, a very valid topic), along similar lines to the final section in this piece: http://feminine1st.com/relationships/changed-experience-heartbreak-forever/.

Or perhaps a blog about how being grateful for yourself is the first step to having a better relationship with anyone (another important thing to know).

And then I realised that there are a million articles like that out there (especially today of all days) but not very many that actually give you permission NOT to be thankful when you’re actually feeling something else.

For example, I do genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason in life. I do believe that every heartbreak taught me something. I do believe that each broken heart ultimately was a gift. It was something to be grateful for.

But in the moment, at the point at which you can feel your heart shattering into a million pieces, if someone comes along and points out that it’s for the best and one day you’ll be grateful that this has happened, your first instinct is to say “F*ck That!”

Not “I don’t feel that way at the moment,” not “I’m sorry, but this feels crappy and I’m not ready to see the silver lining yet,” but literally “F*ck That.”

The F word has a certain power to it. If it’s used all the time, it can lose that power and just becomes another word in your vocabulary. But if it’s used sparingly and only when that level of emphasis and charge is needed, it can be very cathartic.

Because trying to make yourself feel better when you’re in the midst of a painful experience is an insult to your emotions. It diminishes and dishonours what you’re going through.

And if anyone is trying to diminish your emotions and your experience (whether it’s you or someone else), the “F*ck that” response says: That’s not acceptable. I will not allow it. No.

That is a response you have every right to, because this is you respecting yourself, respecting your emotions, respecting your experience and taking back your power.

Not only do you have every right to say “F*ck That,” but it’s actually preferable.

Because you can’t get to genuine gratitude unless you go through the emotions first.

And at that point, at the point of pain, the situation just plain sucks.

It hurts.

It’s not good.

There seems no reason good enough for the fact that you’re feeling the way you feel.

You don’t want to feel it.

You don’t like feeling it.

But doing anything else is ultimately doing yourself a disservice.

So cry. Wail. Shout and scream. Sob into a cushion, and beat the crap out of a beanbag (my personal favourite in situations like these).

Talk to Friends. Spend a day under the duvet.

Be with it.

Be in it.

Feel it.

Experience it.

And when it’s served its purpose, you then have the choice to be able to release the emotion and let it go.

Then you can begin to think clearly about it.

You can begin to get some perspective. You can start to look for the lessons, the learnings, the gifts.

At this point you can allow yourself to step into gratitude, and step into it fully, completely, unreservedly and whole-heartedly.

So the next time you find yourself feeling a strong ‘negative’ emotion, you have my full permission to say “F*ck That” to that false, distracting gratitude, and instead allow yourself to actually feel what’s there first.

Because when you go through the emotion first, you can actually get to the other side, after which you can get to genuine gratitude.

Put simply, saying “F*ck that” to false gratitude is the path to experiencing REAL gratitude.

…and there are very few things more powerful in this world than genuine, from the heart, I feel it in my soul gratitude.

I invite you to Tweet the Love… Saying f*ck that to false gratitude is the path to REAL gratitude @LovePPassion

Now I’d like to know what you think. Have you learned to say “F*ck That” to false gratitude? Have you experienced it as the path to real, genuine gratitude? Does it feel like an edge for you? Does this resonate with you? Or do you think I’m totally wrong? Is it something that feels uncomfortable? What have YOUR experiences with this been?

And on thanksgiving I give you permission to say “F*ck That” to cheap imitations of gratefulness, the ones employed to distract, avoid and ‘make us feel better’, and instead to make the powerful choice to only embrace and express gratitude that is real.

In the short-term it can feel like it sucks, but in the long-term it’s the key to real, genuine emotional freedom.

And there’s no other feeling like it.

With Love,

Claire x

P.S. If you’d like some free tips and advice on how to create your perfectly imperfect relationship, pop over here now and check out our free video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship”

Man woman masculine feminine

The 11 Biggest Misperceptions About The Masculine – Part 2

Man woman masculine feminineLast week we began looking at the 11 biggest misperceptions about the masculine, but why is it important for us to understand them?

Unfortunately, working with both men and women around the world I see the consequences of the beliefs that both men and women hold about masculinity, and how it affects both them and their relationships.

So many men have lost touch with their sense of masculinity and it’s important for them to be able feel good about reclaiming their masculine power without feeling that they will be criticised for doing so, without misunderstanding what that really means (and therefore not wielding the power honourably) or that the burden of the mantle of the label ‘masculine’ will be too big.

The best way to navigate and avoid these potential challenges, is to truly understand what ‘the masculine’ means, and sometimes the best way to begin to understand what something is, is to understand what it is not.

So to celebrate that yesterday was international men’s day, here are the remaining biggest misperceptions of the masculine:

8. Masculine is not Invulnerable

Vulnerability is a real hot topic and major trigger point for many men. The belief that masculine equals strong, and vulnerability equals weakness creates a lot of misperceptions that the masculine cannot be vulnerable. In reality, vulnerability does not mean weakness at all. Vulnerable means ‘open to attack, harm or damage,’ which while a little scary does not imply weakness. In fact to risk being open to attack, harm or damage for the purposes of being also open to love, passion and connection takes real courage. Being vulnerable is courageous, and inside every masculine man beats the heart of a hero, ready to take brave risks for the purposes of a reward that’s worth it. Connecting with another’s heart takes courage, and the masculine is ready and willing to take that risk knowing the reward will give him more than he could possibly imagine.

9. Masculine is not Superior

There is this HUGE misperception that somewhere along the line someone decided that masculinity was in some way superior to femininity, and that the feminine was somehow less than its masculine counterpart. As with all opposite forces in nature, the masculine and feminine are EQUAL and opposite. That does not make them the same, it means that neither is better or worse, stronger or weaker than the other. The true masculine knows and respects the power of the feminine, and would never seek to diminish or demean it. The masculine does not feel more masculine by diminishing the feminine, and in fact understands that to diminish either actually disempowers them both. The real strength and power of the masculine and feminine comes when they combine, complementing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, where the whole becomes more than the sum of it’s parts.

10. Masculine is not Selfish

The masculine and feminine relate to their own needs in very different ways. The feminine, because of its nurturing nature, has a tendency to do its best to ensure that everyone else’s needs are met first, and because of its awareness of everything at all times gets easily distracted from its own needs. This means that the needs of the feminine tend to get met as a ‘last resort’ i.e. That the feminine meets its own needs when they get urgent, which tends of be at the last possible moment. On the flip side, the masculine tends to meet its needs immediately that it first becomes aware of them. If a masculine man is hungry, he eats (irrespective of whether dinner will be ready in 10 minutes), if he’s thirsty, he drinks, if he’s tired, he rests and if he needs the bathroom, he goes – the moment he’s aware of the need. As such women can sometimes view masculine men as selfish, putting their needs first above all others. What’s interesting is that in reality a big part of the reason the masculine ensures his needs get met immediately is because of the sense of responsibility he feels to provide and protect. If his needs aren’t met, if he’s hungry or tired, or needs the bathroom, this could impact his ability to provide and protect, meaning that he wouldn’t be able to look after the feminine and the family to the best of his ability. Often this process is happening at a subconscious level, he’s not even aware of it, but he looks after himself first to ensure that he can do the best job possible in taking care of the things he feels a responsibility for.

11. Masculine is not Inferior

Last, but by no means least, in the same way that the masculine is not superior to the feminine, it is not inferior either. Over the last 20-40 years the role of men in our culture has often become that of ridicule and mockery. The subconscious fear from many women that men won’t know how to wield their masculine power honourably and in a trustworthy way has led to them wanting to take this power from them. Emasculation in the form of humour has become a dominant part of our lives, and in the same way as undermining women disempowers both men and women, the same is true in the other direction too. If either sex believes it needs to take power from the other to feel powerful itself, it doesn’t understand the true meaning and nature of power. It comes from the inside out, not the outside in – you can’t take it from anyone else, and the attempt to do so only demonstrates an underlying feeling of insecurity and disempowerment. The jokes, eye rolls, and put downs at the expense of men and masculinity are equally offensive and damaging to men, women and relationships, as the equivalent slights against women did and continue to do. The true masculine and feminine seek to build each other up, rather than tear each other down, because it’s in combining our strengths that we really see what’s possible together.

So I’m curious, what are your experiences of the word masculine? Do any of the misperceptions I’ve mentioned above ring true for you? Have you felt that any of these were true at one point or another, and what did that mean for you and your relationships? Are you aware of other misperceptions about masculinity that have created some challenges for you?

…and watch this space because in the next couple of week’s I’ll be sharing the other side of the coin for you to understand what true masculine and real feminine is really all about…

With Love,

Claire x

The 11 Biggest Misperceptions About The Masculine – Part 1

man-164962_1280A while ago I posted an article explaining what feminine is not because the word ‘feminine’ has become so misunderstood that many women have actively avoided or denied any association with it.

Unfortunately I see a similar situation when it comes to the word masculine. When I hear the words masculine and feminine used in conversation they’re often associated with concepts or linked to ideas that have nothing at all to do with either.

Before I set the record straight on what masculinity IS, I wanted to help us to get clear on what it is not. So here are 10 commonly held misperceptions about the masculine that are untrue:

1. Masculine is not Neanderthal

So many people as soon as you mention the word masculine envisage a caveman with a club whose first instinct is to smack the nearest women over the head and drag her back to his cave. While I have no judgment if that’s your idea of a fun Saturday night, that’s not what the masculine is about, nor is it about macho peacocking behavior either. While masculine energy, aspects and behaviours might have evolved from our cavemen ancestors, these days he’s upright, out of the cave and knows how to respect and honour a woman of this day and age in a way that she’ll really respond to.

2. Masculine is not Aggressive

Many people equate masculinity with aggression, but aggression is simply a tool to cover an underlying sense of lack or insecurity. Empowered masculine energy is confident and assertive, but has no need to be aggressive. It doesn’t need to prove its power or strength, because it’s innate.

3. Masculine is not Arrogant

When people call to mind alpha males who are connected to their masculine, one of the biggest complaints is an air of arrogance. Like with the ‘masculine is not aggressive’ point, arrogance tends to come from a need to compensate from a lack of truly feeling confident in one’s own abilities and importance, creating a need to ‘prove’ and in doing so overinflate the ego in these areas. A man who truly owns his masculinity has no need to prove anything, and is confident in his value and abilities.

4. Masculine is not Lazy

Men tend to get a bad rap from us women because when we see them doing ‘nothing’ or doing the minimum required to get a job done, and often they get labeled as lazy. Compared to us and our constant and never-ending to-do lists, (and often our identity and sense of significance being tied to how busy we are and how much we have to do) doing less, or nothing seems unacceptable. In reality most men aren’t lazy at all, they are just incredibly aware of a desire to be efficient. Men know that in order to continue to perform, they need to relax, they need to have down time, they need to recharge their batteries, to continue to ‘do’ when they will no longer be effective is futile. The masculine sees inefficiency as a waste of energy and avoids it wherever possible.

5. Masculine is not Destructive

While we’re aware that masculine is competitive, we can sometimes misunderstand this as being destructive and expect a man to do whatever it takes to win, including destroying anything and anyone that gets in it’s path. In reality, the masculine is about rising to the challenge rather than destroying anything that threatens it’s potential to win. The true, empowered masculine doesn’t want to win by destroying another, it wants to win by being and becoming better itself. The masculine wants to win, but it wants to do so in an honourable way; if it has to take someone else out to get the prize, it knows it’s not truly won.

6. Masculine is not Void of Emotion

While the masculine does tend more to the logical, it also isn’t void of emotion either. Often the perception of a masculine man is a strong, silent type, who never speaks about how he feels, and doesn’t understand or relate well to his emotions. A man truly connected with his masculinity understands that we all have both masculine and feminine inside us, and that neither can flourish without the other. While emotions are not as dominant in the masculine as they are in the feminine, an embodied masculine man is connected to, understands and can communicate his emotions.

7. Masculine is not Infallible

The masculine can sometimes be perceived as being all-knowing, and sometimes it can feel like the masculine has to always get it ‘right.’ The responsibility of leading can weigh heavy on a man’s shoulders and the pressure he can put on himself to have all the answers can be immense. In reality, the true masculine regularly learning, growing and stepping up and into more of himself. Most importantly it is not just OK for the masculine to make mistakes, it’s important for him to be able to and give himself permission do so as it’s one of the most effective ways to learn and grow. Being masculine does not stop a man from being human, in fact the true masculine is wonderfully real, beautifully flawed and perfectly imperfect.

Come back next week to discover the final four, and in some ways the most important misperceptions about the masculine. Click here now to see part 2

So I’m curious, what are your experiences of the word masculine? Do any of the misperceptions I’ve mentioned above ring true for you? Have you felt that any of these were true at one point or another, and what did that mean for you and your relationships? Are you aware of other misperceptions about masculinity that have created some challenges for you?

…and watch this space because in the next couple of week’s I’ll be sharing the other side of the coin for you to understand what true masculine and real feminine is really all about…

With Love,

Claire x

How Fast Should You Go From Online Dating To Real Life?

These days, when people are looking to begin dating or meeting new people, they will often give online dating a go.

It’s a great way to meet people who are actively telling you that they’re interested in dating.

It’s also a great way to meet more people then you would in your average week going about your day-to-day life.

But the question I often get asked is how quickly do you move a connection created online to meeting in real life?

Do you want to meet as soon as you connect?

Or do you want to build the connection online first?

As someone who has done quite a bit of online dating in the past, I’ve experienced both, and so I know from first hand experience what works, and what doesn’t, and it might not be what you’re expecting.

So how fast should you wait before moving an online connection into the real world? Watch the video now to find out…

AND if you scroll down, I’ve got a special little message to share with you after today’s episode of LPPTV, with an exciting announcement.

Tweet the Love… As Soon As You’ve Established Interest, Find A Way To Meet @LovePPassion

…and here’s the little announcement that I wanted to share with you as it’s very much connected to today’s episode of LPPTV…

Now I’d love to hear from you. Have you done much online dating? Have you waited to connect in person, or have you met straight away? What has your experience been? Which has worked better for you? Which do you think would work best from your experience? Has the video brought up any questions?

Or, is there a question that you would like me to answer on a future episode of LPPTV? What is the one thing you’d like to know? What is the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationship situation right now?

Please share with as much detail as you can because your insight and questions may provide a breakthrough for someone else and I guarantee if you’re thinking it, someone else is too and they could benefit from you having the courage to share your thoughts and questions.

Thank you in advance for having the courage to share and being kind and understanding in the comments.

…and if you haven’t already, be sure to get your hands on the FREE video series “The First Steps to Transforming Any Relationship” by clicking here now.

Wishing You Love,

Claire x

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