Valentine’s isn’t always all hearts and flowers
Valentine’s Day can be wonderful.
If you choose to spend it with the person who you love, enjoying and indulging in the wonderful connection that you have, it can be magical.
If you’re alone, it can be difficult.
If your partner walked out on you unexpectedly the night before, it can be devastating.
Several years ago, this was how I spent Valentine’s Day.
At 11pm on February 13th, the man who I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with walked out on me unexpectedly.
I was in shock.
I was waiting for the punch line.
Surely this was just a bad joke. A very very bad joke.
But it wasn’t.
It was real.
It was painful.
It was heart-breaking.
The bottom fell out of my world.
When he walked out of the door, he took with him my partner, my best friend, my business mentor, my technical team, and the vast majority of my savings account.
I felt completely and totally alone.
My romantic life was in tatters, my business was up in the air, my financial stability had been removed and my confidence was in ruins.
My Worst Valentine’s Day Ever…
I woke up, Valentine’s morning feeling like I’d hit rock bottom.
I cried, I talked, I cried, I vented and cried even more.
Most of my friends and close family members were either married, in long-term relationships or having babies.
At that point it felt like I was a million miles away from “happily ever after”.
I was done.
For the first time in a long time I realised I didn’t want to be in a relationship.
I’d spent the last 10-15 years of my life pretty much going from one relationship to the next, without much time for me in between, and it felt like it was now my time.
Having spent so much time with other people, I’d lost touch a little with my ‘Inner Claire.’ What did she want? What did she need? What was important to her? How did she want to spend her time? What did she want to do?
It was time to find out.
So I decided to go on a bit of a journey of discovery. Learning more about myself, learning how to become my own best friend, learning to love myself, exactly as I was.
Spending quality time with me.
Going out dancing, travelling, spending time with friends, visiting places I loved, meditating, journaling…doing the things I loved, and enjoying them!
By spending this time making my life ‘All about me,’ I was feeling fulfilled in a way that I hadn’t done in years.
I was happy, having fun, enjoying life.
I was absolutely beaming, and everywhere I went, people were remarking about how I was radiating this great energy. I kept hearing that I was bringing a certain ‘sparkle’ when I entered a room.
After a while it occurred to me that it’s because for the first time in a long time I was being me. Unashamedly, unreservedly, undeniably me.
It was transforming how I felt, the work I was doing, the experiences I was having, and the people I was coming into contact with.
All of a sudden I realised that by being all of me, I was giving them permission to be all of them too.
Everywhere I went people were being magnetically drawn to my energy.
And not just any people, the people who I wanted to spend time with. The ones I resonated with, the kindred spirits, the soul sisters and brothers; my kinda people.
So I asked myself, what had changed? Why was I all of a sudden attracting a different kind of person into my life?
If it was happening with friends, would it start happening with men too?
And then it happened. The lightbulb moment.
In the work I was doing with women and men from around the world, I saw a pattern.
Those who were struggling to attract the kind of relationship they really wanted were following certain behaviours. More importantly those who had attracted the relationship they’d always desired WEREN’T following these same behaviours.
A Different Story
Suddenly the answers to so many questions became clear. Why I’d been attracting relationships that were doomed to failure, why I’d struggled to find any masculine men, where I’d been going wrong for all these years, why I couldn’t find love.
When I recognised the mistakes that both I and so many other women were making I started to change my approach to dating, and to men in general.
At that point everything began to change.
Not long after the most incredible man appeared in my life, and being conscious of avoiding these mistakes transformed the experience of dating for us.
That was some time ago now, and he and I are now travelling the world, living the life we’ve always wanted, and sharing the experience of helping others to transform their relationship lives.
He is everything I wanted in a man and more, our connection is deeper, more real, more intimate and more passionate than any man I’ve been with before.
This is the best relationship I’ve ever experienced in my life and we couldn’t be happier. What’s interesting is that without the Valentine’s Day from hell, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
So it turns out the worst V-Day ever, was actually the best gift I could have asked for.
Something to think about…
Wishing You Love,